Out of the darkness came light: How manipulation became my TEDx idea worth spreading
Associate Professor of Management in the College of Business Daniel Jones reflects on his TEDx Reno talk
TED and TEDx talks have always been fueled by the power of short stories and ideas worth spreading. Although my research on the has consistently attracted media attention, I was not sure it would make a great TEDx talk. To be sure, Dark Triad research has surprisingly broad relevance, and resonates with those who have encountered these types of people. However, the Dark Triad concept was created by my mentor Del Paulhus and his student Kevin Williams in 2002 and is a line of research championed by many besides myself. Given that the concept was more than 20 years old and widely studied, I was not sure it alone constituted an “idea worth spreading.”
I think a lot about the University students with whom I interact. Every semester in my management courses I spend one day on the Dark Triad. Without fail, every semester, students approach me and tell me things like: “Dr. Jones, I have this narcissistic boss” or “I have this coworker I think is psychopathic,” … and they would ask me, “What do I do?” Until recently, I had virtually no advice. Obvious guidance such as “leave the job” or “go to HR” “talk with these people” and “avoid them” were things that they had often tried with no luck. I realized that I needed, we needed, to do better. We do not need 20 more years of knowing that these types of traits lead to harming others, we need 20 new years of knowing how to help people deal with them. Thus, my idea worth spreading was born. With my fabulous colleagues Alexis Hanna and Peter Hom (Arizona State), we began looking at who does best under abusive supervision, and Machiavellianism most consistently predicted that.
I still remember the moment I realized that it may be possible to harness Machiavellian thinking to fight the good fight. It was New Year’s Eve 2019. I sat down with Christie & Geis’s original 1970 book “Studies on Machiavellianism” and went through the chapters looking for non-toxic behaviors that might lead to resilience when being abused. Initially, I highlighted six key elements and then distilled them down to three, which ultimately led to the CBR (Cold, Bottom-line, Rational) framework you hear about in the talk.
With this knowledge, I went to Bret Simmons who is a friend, leader and a huge player in the organization. I asked him what he thought, and he provided a tremendous amount of encouragement and guidance. I was in LaGuardia airport when I received the notification that my TEDx talk was accepted. Overjoyed, I immediately cracked open my computer, filled out the agreement forms and started writing my talk. Naturally, the first few drafts look nothing like the final talk. It was the amazing guidance of the TEDxReno team that shaped the talk into what it is, and it would have had less than half the punch it had without them. Along the way, I was blessed to meet the other TEDxReno speakers. These are amazing people with amazing stories and ideas to share. Many friendships emerged from those rehearsals and backstage chats, friendships that I will cherish for years to come.
I rehearsed this talk in every platform possible. My wife and daughter would follow along in my script and record me while I stood in a hula hoop on the floor rehearsing my talk. I rehearsed it at coffee shops, while driving, with friends and family, and even while working out. Trying to remember and speak the words with my heart rate up was more critical than I realized. I have given hundreds of talks, more than a dozen, to large audiences. Yet, for all my experience as a speaker, nothing had prepared me for how exciting and terrifying the TEDx day would be. I have never in my life been so nervous for a talk. My body physically shook behind the stage, making it difficult to put a microphone on me. There were several times during the talk when the words disappeared from my mind; just gone. Each time, I found my loving wife in the audience, took a deep breath and the words reemerged.
When I stepped off the stage, I could only think of the flaws and pauses. Although I heard nothing but support and kindness from the organizers and fellow speakers backstage, I had my doubts. I had worked so incredibly hard on this talk … did that show? Sometimes it is easier to believe our own internal negativity than the genuine praise of our friends (ironically, a topic of one of the other speakers, ). Throughout that night, I simply did not know if the talk had the impact I wanted. For weeks I did not know. Finally, I received the news that not only is my TEDx talk being released, but the official TED website wanted to advertise it. I had my answer.
The whole experience was one of true growth. I am blessed for having gone through it and for the people I met. Ideas worth spreading are truly small gifts that can grow into big change, and I hope you can share yours as well.
ÁùºÏ±¦µä the author
Daniel N. Jones is an associate professor of management in the College of Business at the University of ÁùºÏ±¦µä Reno and a core faculty member in the Interdisciplinary Social Psychology Program. Prior to the University, Jones was an assistant professor of legal psychology at the University of Texas, El Paso. He received his BS from Stockton University and his Ph.D. in social/personality psychology from the University of British Columbia.
